This morning, while pondering over today's new moon and what it means for me, I opened a poetry book that I recently received upon recommendation from another poet in the mail.
Pretty soon into the book, I came across this quote:
"Found within that which you long to steep, is the very thing you must eventually create." - Stirrup of the Sun & Moon, Frank LaRue Owen
Next was not just a moment of introspection, but a multidimensional moment of awe, curiosity, motivation and inspiration. I thought to myself, I must get this message out at once. It all seemed so clear to me in an instant.
The way I took it was, when we are going through life in search of something, in need of something, trying to fill that empty space inside of us...one eventually realizes through a poem like this or through their own way...that that thing we are searching for is never coming.
We need to create it ourselves. Our pain is our purpose.
For me, I have always been searching for a certain warmth. Acceptance. I have been looking for this in everyone and everything since I could remember. It has caused me to do irrational things, shameful things. Things that just didn't feel aligned with my true soul. Especially as a young one.
Nowadays even though the effects are more subtle, I find this insatiable need sometimes sneakily luring me off my true path. I even know when it's happening, but it's almost like I'm on autopilot. Like there is two of me. And then the third me is watching from above, in a very loving way, chuckling.
That warmth, that acceptance, and specifically a container that helps me be free to be me regardless of opinion, praise or criticism is what I need to create for myself. Where to start? I have some ideas.
I hope the quote above inspires you like it did me to first of all think of what is it I am searching for? And secondly, to take action to create that for yourself. No longer do I want to be a victim to the autopilot patterns of my traumatic past. I want to dance the dance with the void, etch closer to a balance of control and surrender. All while in my nice little warm, accepting bubble.